Gee,
Feng Shui for a car? I just can’t see
it, even though I do try to keep an open mind.
For instance, my BFF Bernice (she always says that while she appreciates
being my best friend, she frankly worries what the other “F” stands for)
rotated her dining room table because her interior designer said it was better
feng shui for the room. And, Lord knows,
Bernice is making a lot more money than I am, and has classier dinner parties
to boot, so who am I to argue? Still……
I
know someone else who got paid good money for installing a Bagua (Pa Kua)
Mirror in a mutual friend’s home as a way of manipulating the negative outside
energies. Talk about negative outside
energy – she would have been better off with a divorce lawyer if you ask me,
but I suppose buying a mirror in a octagonal red wooden frame was cheaper. And she can always use the mirror in her next
marriage.
In
my own home, I use the Yin-Yang theory in which the interacting forces of Yin
(feminine) and Yang (masculine) keep us deeply interconnected. As an example, the Yin closet is the big
closet in our master bedroom. And, not
wanting to mix these universal forces, the Yang closet (for my husband’s
clothes) is in the small guest bedroom down the hall. OK, in all honesty, his clothes occupy half of that closet because I need the
other half for my hats. And in the
bathroom, the Yang is exceptionally good about always putting the toilet seat down after use because he fears the Yin ch’i when certain people sit down in the
middle of the night and get nothing but porcelain. Trust me, nothing good can come from that.
First
of all, according to their diagram, my poor husband (who is a creative
director) has all of his creativity stuck in the rear passenger wheel well. Bummer!
That would explain his client who keeps going round and round the copy
choices he has given her without ever making a decision so they can move
forward. Hello!
Also,
75% of the wealth and relationship energy reside outside the body of the car. That doesn’t bode well for the folks
riding inside. It might go a long way
toward explaining our bank account, however.
On
the other hand, the knowledge ch’i appears to be right smack dab in the middle
of the driver’s seat, which my husband will happily embrace since he thinks
that he is ALWAYS right even when passes a perfectly good parking spot or
doesn’t move into the right hand lane until it is too late and then curses the
other drivers who won’t let him in. I’m just sayin….
I
wanted to do further research, but when I Googled “feng shui your car,” I got
2,230,000 hits, a smattering of which showed that in order to have proper “feng
shuiness” (yes, it’s the word that is actually used), I need to:
- Choose the lucky color according to my individual feng shui chart (I guess my husband is SOL)
- Choose the day of purchase that is positive according to my feng shui calendar (gee, we chose the day based on when we could afford to buy it)
- Ring with hand bells inside the car to purify the energy (giving new definition to the term “Baby, ring my bell”)
- Scatter sea salt on the car floor carpets to absorb negative energy (careful – that stuff will hurt like hell when it gets into any scratches you got on the beach)
- Order license plates with only lucky numbers (our Prius says 62MPG)
- And above all, do not hang crystals or anything on the rear view mirror, since it draws away the attention of the dragon from your protection.
